Is there a more amorphous, ambiguous campaign theme than promising to do right by the (pick one) forgotten, put-upon, over-taxed, invisible middle class? But since there’s a whole lot of middle-class voters, you gotta throw them a few bones — federal 401k plans, baby bonuses, tax credits and grants for college costs. Programs and promises that sound almost as tasty as the grub at the Iowa diner where Hillary Clinton’s “Middle Class Express” stopped for lunch.

Sound Bite: “It has a great sandwich. It’s kinda like what we used to call a Sloppy Joe when I was growing up except it doesn’t have all of the sauce on it. It’s plain ground beef, but it’s kinda dry and the version I had had mustard and pickle on it. It was delicious!”